Friday, November 26, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
more teef and the world of standing
those two bottom teef are just adorable. i certainly forgot about the pain/crying that was associated with those two bottom teefs. until, that is, she started teething again. urgh. the top teefs are coming in now. did i really block out how bad the first set of teething was? that poor little thing. she is a hot mess - red cheeks, crooked smile, humming cries. i feel so bad for her. i just hope these top teef pop out soon!
in other news, she is what feels like days from walking. yeah, she is only 7m old now. but i swear - that girl is going to take steps on her own. she still has very little interest in crawling but she is getting closer. her standing is off the charts. two weekends ago she went from laying on her belly to standing without holding anythiing. our jaws were all on the ground. since then she has been trying to do it again...and coming very close. she has zero issues pulling herself up on anything, sitting back down, picking things up, and walking (slowly) along furniture. she is also getting pretty damn good at pulling herself up on things and then letting go and standing all alone for a solid 10 seconds or so. it's wild. she seems way too young to me but it is crazy fun to watch.
cousin, Benjamin, turned one last weekend. i cannot believe it has been a year already. he was sick for his party but Harlow had a delightful time.
oh, and here she doing all sorts of standing at our weekend trip to upstate NY two weekends ago.
in other news, she is what feels like days from walking. yeah, she is only 7m old now. but i swear - that girl is going to take steps on her own. she still has very little interest in crawling but she is getting closer. her standing is off the charts. two weekends ago she went from laying on her belly to standing without holding anythiing. our jaws were all on the ground. since then she has been trying to do it again...and coming very close. she has zero issues pulling herself up on anything, sitting back down, picking things up, and walking (slowly) along furniture. she is also getting pretty damn good at pulling herself up on things and then letting go and standing all alone for a solid 10 seconds or so. it's wild. she seems way too young to me but it is crazy fun to watch.
cousin, Benjamin, turned one last weekend. i cannot believe it has been a year already. he was sick for his party but Harlow had a delightful time.
oh, and here she doing all sorts of standing at our weekend trip to upstate NY two weekends ago.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
catching up
sweet lord, has it really been this long since i have updated? Harlow is a solid 7m old now. and growing. the 6-7m mark was similair to the 3-4m mark for us. she made so many big deal steps forward! my big round baby is acting like a grown up baby.
teef: pretty sure i already reported this but she broke two teeth a while ago. they're cute as a button. and i fear that the top ones are going to rear their ugly heads soon enough too.
pulling up: she is pulling herself up like a champ. pretty sure she is way ahead of the game in that field. but it must be said that she is built solid on the bottom like her mama. so she started pulling herself up in her crib about a month ago. now she pulls herself up left and right with no problem whatsoever. the other day she even pulled herself up and stood holding nothing at all for a while. just my baby...standing there...holding nothing...and smiling. she has also learned the game of walking along the couch/ect. she is just beginning to master that. but girl can move! she is a climber and all over the place whenever possible.
still no crawling or interest in crawling.
signing/clapping: she knew the sign for "milk" almost immedietely. she can't ask for milk back but she certainly understands it when i sign "milk" to her. why wouldn't she - it's her favorite thing. she learned the sign for "more" a few weeks ago. she really got it at first and would ask for "more" after each bite of food. she has since mixed up "more" and the joy of clapping her hands together. so the communication of "more" has been lost. for now. i'm okay with that because the clapping is pretty damn cute. she claps constantly. she wakes me up a lot in the morning clapping. she loves it.
dancing/singing: she understands when we dance and tries to move along with us. mostly it looks like her bending her knees up and down. but she'll throw her hands in the air too if the dance you're doing involves hands in the air. so she is getting there. Her and i have been taking a nightly bath together now that the weather is getting cooler. the first half of the bath i sing to her. she lays with me chewing a toy and "sings" along with me. it's to die!
ok. a promise to update more often?! it's hard when you work a million hours every week and the baby has had sleeping issues (more details to follow). i leave with some pics.
check out this chunker! this is from last week. i think she id storing up for the winter.
Halloween!
Nako's visit.
just being the cutest.
teef: pretty sure i already reported this but she broke two teeth a while ago. they're cute as a button. and i fear that the top ones are going to rear their ugly heads soon enough too.
pulling up: she is pulling herself up like a champ. pretty sure she is way ahead of the game in that field. but it must be said that she is built solid on the bottom like her mama. so she started pulling herself up in her crib about a month ago. now she pulls herself up left and right with no problem whatsoever. the other day she even pulled herself up and stood holding nothing at all for a while. just my baby...standing there...holding nothing...and smiling. she has also learned the game of walking along the couch/ect. she is just beginning to master that. but girl can move! she is a climber and all over the place whenever possible.
still no crawling or interest in crawling.
signing/clapping: she knew the sign for "milk" almost immedietely. she can't ask for milk back but she certainly understands it when i sign "milk" to her. why wouldn't she - it's her favorite thing. she learned the sign for "more" a few weeks ago. she really got it at first and would ask for "more" after each bite of food. she has since mixed up "more" and the joy of clapping her hands together. so the communication of "more" has been lost. for now. i'm okay with that because the clapping is pretty damn cute. she claps constantly. she wakes me up a lot in the morning clapping. she loves it.
dancing/singing: she understands when we dance and tries to move along with us. mostly it looks like her bending her knees up and down. but she'll throw her hands in the air too if the dance you're doing involves hands in the air. so she is getting there. Her and i have been taking a nightly bath together now that the weather is getting cooler. the first half of the bath i sing to her. she lays with me chewing a toy and "sings" along with me. it's to die!
ok. a promise to update more often?! it's hard when you work a million hours every week and the baby has had sleeping issues (more details to follow). i leave with some pics.
check out this chunker! this is from last week. i think she id storing up for the winter.
Halloween!
Nako's visit.
just being the cutest.
Monday, October 25, 2010
sleep / crying it out / co-sleeping
as most of you know, we are not sleeping. Harlow wakes up a solid six times a night for about 20 minutes each time. it is making us hallucinate and grow more & more tragic by the day. we started a form of sleep training last night. so we will be on a schedule for the next 28 days. mostly, we are following the "No Cry Sleep Solution." it is basically a gentle way of getting babe on a stricter schedule, to bed early, and sleeping through the night. it uses words/signs/queues/ and a comfort object to aid in getting the little one to sleep better. we are well read, prepared, and ready for this 28 day journey.
everyone and their mom keeps pushing the "Cry It Out" method to us. my gut just tells me that that is not the way for us. disclaimer; i am not making a judgement of you as a parent if that method worked for you/them. it is just not the choice that i/we feel comfortable making right now. at this stage in Harlow's development, i do not believe she has the ability to understand that when we leave her we are just in the next room. so, in my opinion, she is crying because she feels abandoned and is unable to understand that we will indeed be coming back for her. the thought of her alone in a room crying and wanting one of us just about makes me want to die. am i saying that i will always feel this way? no. but at this point in her age and development, these are my thoughts. so what does that mean for us? i think creating a schedule is going to be the starting point. i kind of saw myself as an easy breezy mama before this. and my plan was putting her down when she asked to be put down. i am now seeing that that has some fault. she needs to be put down before she asks to be put down. so we are creating a schedule of getting her to bed early. and we are using key words/signals/ect to create a sleep environment that overtakes her. fingers crossed.
all that being said - i have a new found respect for people that co-sleep and have family beds. i had always thought of myself as someone who would never co-sleep and actually found the idea of it a bit odd. i no longer feel that way. i vividly respect parent's/families that chose to co-sleep if that is what is right for them. i am still torn as to how i/we identity in this manner. will we be co-sleepers? will she sleep in a bed in our room? will we put her in the nursery? i don't know. i know for the winter she will remain in our room due to the fact that we have such an old farm house with wacky heat. in the spring, i am thinking it will be the perfect time to introduce her to her nursery/crib. but we'll see. if there is one thing that i have learned about being a mama is that you have no idea who you will be until you are in the midst of going through it. there is no right/wrong answer. it is all about what is right for you and your little one. no judgements. do what you need to do to not only survive the moment but to love/support/nurture your amazing baby.
i leave you with this cute little picture. Harlow chose the Ugly Doll that Alex bought her as her comfort object. she loves to rub her face all over the felt body. too cute.
everyone and their mom keeps pushing the "Cry It Out" method to us. my gut just tells me that that is not the way for us. disclaimer; i am not making a judgement of you as a parent if that method worked for you/them. it is just not the choice that i/we feel comfortable making right now. at this stage in Harlow's development, i do not believe she has the ability to understand that when we leave her we are just in the next room. so, in my opinion, she is crying because she feels abandoned and is unable to understand that we will indeed be coming back for her. the thought of her alone in a room crying and wanting one of us just about makes me want to die. am i saying that i will always feel this way? no. but at this point in her age and development, these are my thoughts. so what does that mean for us? i think creating a schedule is going to be the starting point. i kind of saw myself as an easy breezy mama before this. and my plan was putting her down when she asked to be put down. i am now seeing that that has some fault. she needs to be put down before she asks to be put down. so we are creating a schedule of getting her to bed early. and we are using key words/signals/ect to create a sleep environment that overtakes her. fingers crossed.
all that being said - i have a new found respect for people that co-sleep and have family beds. i had always thought of myself as someone who would never co-sleep and actually found the idea of it a bit odd. i no longer feel that way. i vividly respect parent's/families that chose to co-sleep if that is what is right for them. i am still torn as to how i/we identity in this manner. will we be co-sleepers? will she sleep in a bed in our room? will we put her in the nursery? i don't know. i know for the winter she will remain in our room due to the fact that we have such an old farm house with wacky heat. in the spring, i am thinking it will be the perfect time to introduce her to her nursery/crib. but we'll see. if there is one thing that i have learned about being a mama is that you have no idea who you will be until you are in the midst of going through it. there is no right/wrong answer. it is all about what is right for you and your little one. no judgements. do what you need to do to not only survive the moment but to love/support/nurture your amazing baby.
i leave you with this cute little picture. Harlow chose the Ugly Doll that Alex bought her as her comfort object. she loves to rub her face all over the felt body. too cute.
Monday, October 4, 2010
FIRSTS!!!
week 24. a week of firsts. Harlow is oh so close to 6months old and progressing at a rate that shocks me. this past week was nothing short of an indicator of how fast she is growing.
FIRST TEEF. not one by TWO teef popped up. they are jagged and sharp like razer blades. and they're going to be oh so cute. they are the two bottom ones in the middle. the white just popped up from the gums and they are coming up to full size fast. they're also super cute. no pictures yet. she is not keene to letting us see them. you can usually only see them when she is wailing. and while we have lots of cute wailing pictures - it just seems cruel. ha! pictures sopon enough, promise!
FIRST FOOD. we gave her avocado on Tuesday. she liked it okay. she was more shocked by it than anything. and she really just wanted to play with the spoon. she made the best faces everytime we put it in her mouth. and while she wasn't super excited about it, she did cry when we finally took it away. we gave it to her every day last week. and then, because she wasn't pooping, we gave her the tiniest bit of prune juice. boy was that a hit! all smiles and grabbing for the bowl/spoon. we followed up her week of food with the standard rice cereal last night for dinner. that is generally what people seem to start with. and i can see why because Hlow loved the rice cereal. it was super bland but she thought it was the bees knees. here is my favorite pic of her eating the avocado. i think this picture pretty much sums it up.
FIRST SHOES. Harlow wore her first pair of shoes on Sunday. they were a nice worn in pair of leather booties with wool lining. second hand score for a yard sale. while they were a bit too big for her feet, they were a bit too tight for her chunky little legs!
FIRST CRAWL - ATTEMPT. and this morning she got up on all fours - knees and hands - and tried to scoot forward. what? a first crawl? the best thing about it is that she didn't move her hands or knees at all...she just moved her belly for a while and tried to almost jump her way forward. is she going to crawl already? i hope not. our 220 year old farm house is not ready for a crawler!
FIRST TEEF. not one by TWO teef popped up. they are jagged and sharp like razer blades. and they're going to be oh so cute. they are the two bottom ones in the middle. the white just popped up from the gums and they are coming up to full size fast. they're also super cute. no pictures yet. she is not keene to letting us see them. you can usually only see them when she is wailing. and while we have lots of cute wailing pictures - it just seems cruel. ha! pictures sopon enough, promise!
FIRST FOOD. we gave her avocado on Tuesday. she liked it okay. she was more shocked by it than anything. and she really just wanted to play with the spoon. she made the best faces everytime we put it in her mouth. and while she wasn't super excited about it, she did cry when we finally took it away. we gave it to her every day last week. and then, because she wasn't pooping, we gave her the tiniest bit of prune juice. boy was that a hit! all smiles and grabbing for the bowl/spoon. we followed up her week of food with the standard rice cereal last night for dinner. that is generally what people seem to start with. and i can see why because Hlow loved the rice cereal. it was super bland but she thought it was the bees knees. here is my favorite pic of her eating the avocado. i think this picture pretty much sums it up.
FIRST SHOES. Harlow wore her first pair of shoes on Sunday. they were a nice worn in pair of leather booties with wool lining. second hand score for a yard sale. while they were a bit too big for her feet, they were a bit too tight for her chunky little legs!
FIRST CRAWL - ATTEMPT. and this morning she got up on all fours - knees and hands - and tried to scoot forward. what? a first crawl? the best thing about it is that she didn't move her hands or knees at all...she just moved her belly for a while and tried to almost jump her way forward. is she going to crawl already? i hope not. our 220 year old farm house is not ready for a crawler!
Monday, September 27, 2010
solids
we had wanted to wait to introduce solids until the babe was well into 7/8/9 months. not sure why, but Gen and i both agreed on that number without even really thinking about it beyond the fact that breastmilk is so good for the little monkey. however, Hlow has been waking all night every night to eat. she is currently waking a solid 6 times each night. it's killing us. i am not functioning at all at work right now. my sister commented that perhaps Hlow was ready to eat. i heard her say it but i forgot about it because i wanted to keep up with breastmilk as her only source right now. then i met two friends for brunch yesterday and they both mentioned that it sounded like Hlow was ready for food too. ho hum. i am not ready to feed her yet but if it means sleeping through the night again, i am all for it. so...joila...we are going to start her on her first solid food tomorrow - the illusive avocado!
in a way, i am super excited because i can't wait to see how she reacts. i think it is going to be a really fun transition. i also look forward to the days of pumping less at work. but i am also really sad about losing the grasp of her needing me for every meal. i can't believe that my little baby is almost six month old now. she is long past being a newborn and it is really sad to me. i miss the days when she needed me 24/7. while i love seeing her grow and become independant, it's reall yhard to know that it won't be long before she doesn't want breastmilk at all. she is so active now. nursing her is the only time during the day when it is just her and i...quiet...and giving each other all our love/attention.
so i sit here on the eve of feeding this kid an avocado. apprehensive yet excited. at this rate, i'll be buying her a big kid bed next week and sending her off to college next month.
urgh, too much love.
in a way, i am super excited because i can't wait to see how she reacts. i think it is going to be a really fun transition. i also look forward to the days of pumping less at work. but i am also really sad about losing the grasp of her needing me for every meal. i can't believe that my little baby is almost six month old now. she is long past being a newborn and it is really sad to me. i miss the days when she needed me 24/7. while i love seeing her grow and become independant, it's reall yhard to know that it won't be long before she doesn't want breastmilk at all. she is so active now. nursing her is the only time during the day when it is just her and i...quiet...and giving each other all our love/attention.
so i sit here on the eve of feeding this kid an avocado. apprehensive yet excited. at this rate, i'll be buying her a big kid bed next week and sending her off to college next month.
urgh, too much love.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Harlow's rose
Harlow's rose bloomed this week. i planted this rose last year. it first bloomed the day that i found out i was pregnant with the babe. it bloomed a bit late this year, but it is twice the size and twice as beautiful as it was last year at this time. just like the little monkey.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
working mamas unite
i...have...had...it!
i went back to work on July 5th after three amazing months home with my daughter. being with her full time was a struggle as i was healing and learning how to parent but it was also amazing in terms of the quality time we got to spend together and the love we gave each other 24hrs a day. being home with her was also amazing because the area in which we live in is so supportive of new parents and so helpful to needs that come up. i took baby & me yoga classes...i went to weekly support groups for new mamas/parents...i went to weekly breastfeeding support groups...and most importantly, i had other mama friends that i could lunch with and just talk to about what was going on in our new lives as parents.
going back to work was one of the most difficult things that i had to do. going back to work meant leaving my daughter every morning. luckily, i have a partner that stays home. i count my blessings every day for that. but i still have to leave my daughter every morning when i truly feel that we honestly still need to be together at this age. going back to work also meant pumping in a hot/stifling closet 3-4 times a day and my stress levels going way way way off the charts. but the thing that has really killed me about going back to work is virtually losing all support and resources that i had as a stay-at-home mama. the area in which i live in is very privileged and has a lot of stay-at-home mamas. this is a beautiful thing. and it's a beautiful thing that the area supports these new mamas and parents so completely. but there is a complete lack of support and resources for mamas that work a 9-5 job. i have contacted the local YMCA, local gyms, and local baby places/spaces. not a single one offers an exercise class for new parents and their babes on the evening or the weekends. on top of that, i lost all support in terms of new parent groups, breastfeeding groups, and personal support. there are certainly weekend classes for new fathers. but it is presumed that new mamas won't be working.
i recently had a really horrible time pumping enough milk to feed the babe during the workday. luckily, after much Googling, i found a local Le Leche advocate that was able to assist me via email during the day. that was amazing. and i thank that person and LLL for that to no end. but i still take very serious issue that working mamas fall off the map. going back to work is very difficult for us new mamas. what is more difficult is having zero support once we do transition into leaving our babes every day at a way too early age.
okay okay. i should stop complaining and create something myself, right? maybe i'll do just that. in fact, i am working on creating an evening dance class for babes and new parents as i type this. but i need to get my frustrations out, hence this blog.
hmpf. thanks for letting me type this rant.
on a side note, Harlow is doing just lovely.
i went back to work on July 5th after three amazing months home with my daughter. being with her full time was a struggle as i was healing and learning how to parent but it was also amazing in terms of the quality time we got to spend together and the love we gave each other 24hrs a day. being home with her was also amazing because the area in which we live in is so supportive of new parents and so helpful to needs that come up. i took baby & me yoga classes...i went to weekly support groups for new mamas/parents...i went to weekly breastfeeding support groups...and most importantly, i had other mama friends that i could lunch with and just talk to about what was going on in our new lives as parents.
going back to work was one of the most difficult things that i had to do. going back to work meant leaving my daughter every morning. luckily, i have a partner that stays home. i count my blessings every day for that. but i still have to leave my daughter every morning when i truly feel that we honestly still need to be together at this age. going back to work also meant pumping in a hot/stifling closet 3-4 times a day and my stress levels going way way way off the charts. but the thing that has really killed me about going back to work is virtually losing all support and resources that i had as a stay-at-home mama. the area in which i live in is very privileged and has a lot of stay-at-home mamas. this is a beautiful thing. and it's a beautiful thing that the area supports these new mamas and parents so completely. but there is a complete lack of support and resources for mamas that work a 9-5 job. i have contacted the local YMCA, local gyms, and local baby places/spaces. not a single one offers an exercise class for new parents and their babes on the evening or the weekends. on top of that, i lost all support in terms of new parent groups, breastfeeding groups, and personal support. there are certainly weekend classes for new fathers. but it is presumed that new mamas won't be working.
i recently had a really horrible time pumping enough milk to feed the babe during the workday. luckily, after much Googling, i found a local Le Leche advocate that was able to assist me via email during the day. that was amazing. and i thank that person and LLL for that to no end. but i still take very serious issue that working mamas fall off the map. going back to work is very difficult for us new mamas. what is more difficult is having zero support once we do transition into leaving our babes every day at a way too early age.
okay okay. i should stop complaining and create something myself, right? maybe i'll do just that. in fact, i am working on creating an evening dance class for babes and new parents as i type this. but i need to get my frustrations out, hence this blog.
hmpf. thanks for letting me type this rant.
on a side note, Harlow is doing just lovely.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
oh man
Gwen just sent me this picture this morning. it's a picture of the video monitor that we have to watch the cutie in her sleeper at night and while taking naps. we looooove the video monitor. it's super fun. and it is really easy for us lazy folks to just look at the monitor when there is a strange sound rather than running upstairs. also super excited for when she is older and we can watch her talk to herself like Anna used to do. anyhow, Gwen sent this to me this morning. starting today it looks like she would prefer to roll around rather than sleep. man o man - we really have to nix that swaddler at night. yes, we still swaddle her at 5mo old. looks like another few weeks of no sleep while we make that transition. good times.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
love, love, and love
just a quick note as i am slammed at work, as usual.
i got the above picture as my daily cell phone update from Gen today. i am so smitten that i can't even control myself at work half the time. last week when i came home from work she reached for me for the first time. it melted my heart to walk in and see those two little chubby arms reaching out to me. yesterday, we were walking around in the yard looking at leaves and listening to the wind chimes. she put each little hand on either side of my face and rubbed her cute little cheeks and lips all over my face. i could have just died. smitten and in love. uncontrollably.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Ben & Cielo
this past week was a lovely week. the weather was mild, our lawn is like a jungle, and the town is full of students. random. but true. we also had Ben and Cielo visiting from Seattle. what an amazing week. where once upon a time we would drink/dance/talk all night - we now spent the time playing with the babe and updating each other on our lives. the most amazing thing was seeing them interact with Harlow. i always knew that Ben was amazing with kids. i have seen him hang out with kids a million times and they are always smitten with him. what i didn't know was the Cielo is a baby whisperer and made Harlow fall smitten in love with him...to the point where she wouldn't even look at me (HER MAMA!) because she couldn't take her eyes off Cielo. it was pretty amazing.
Ben and Harlow watching the ducks at the Cummington Fair
Cielo and Harlow in love. she was so comfortable with him at all times. she just wanted to snuggle in and love/sleep.
what i also didn't know was that Cielo wanted a baby so badly. half the reason he is going to school is to get a good paying job so that he can adopt a baby. how amazing. we went to an annual GBLTI family BBQ at Look Park in Northampton on Sunday. sadly, there was only one family with two dads. but it was still amazing to see all the families with two moms. and kids ranging from newborn to young adult. it was so great to see all the love within the families and the kids playing together. it was really great. and inspiring. and touching. we all felt happy to have gone and excited by the reality of queer family functioning in so many different ways. and, true to form, Ben had all of the kids in love with him. he was leading a group of kids around the park on a bug hunt. they loved it!!!
i love my family and i love my "chosen family." it's wonderful to be a piece of such a wide array of people. and even at 5mo, Harlow is loved in so many ways by so many people. what an amazing way to grow up and see the world. i feel like she will be forever supported in her life and her choices and her goals. and she will have a million different people behind her being her greatest fans. it makes me feel all sorts of love for family...regardless of how that family comes to you.
wow. i have a lot of feelings lately. ha! on a side note, we went to the Cummington Fair on Saturday. Cielo was enthralled with the ox pull. i like the cow barns (they're HUGE!) and beating everyone at the games. Ben liked the never ending lemonade. the day was a hit!
look at these two giant squashes.
mama won Hlow a Doozer. she has yet another new love!
Ben and Harlow watching the ducks at the Cummington Fair
Cielo and Harlow in love. she was so comfortable with him at all times. she just wanted to snuggle in and love/sleep.
what i also didn't know was that Cielo wanted a baby so badly. half the reason he is going to school is to get a good paying job so that he can adopt a baby. how amazing. we went to an annual GBLTI family BBQ at Look Park in Northampton on Sunday. sadly, there was only one family with two dads. but it was still amazing to see all the families with two moms. and kids ranging from newborn to young adult. it was so great to see all the love within the families and the kids playing together. it was really great. and inspiring. and touching. we all felt happy to have gone and excited by the reality of queer family functioning in so many different ways. and, true to form, Ben had all of the kids in love with him. he was leading a group of kids around the park on a bug hunt. they loved it!!!
i love my family and i love my "chosen family." it's wonderful to be a piece of such a wide array of people. and even at 5mo, Harlow is loved in so many ways by so many people. what an amazing way to grow up and see the world. i feel like she will be forever supported in her life and her choices and her goals. and she will have a million different people behind her being her greatest fans. it makes me feel all sorts of love for family...regardless of how that family comes to you.
wow. i have a lot of feelings lately. ha! on a side note, we went to the Cummington Fair on Saturday. Cielo was enthralled with the ox pull. i like the cow barns (they're HUGE!) and beating everyone at the games. Ben liked the never ending lemonade. the day was a hit!
look at these two giant squashes.
mama won Hlow a Doozer. she has yet another new love!
Monday, August 30, 2010
all day cells
my most favorite thing about being at work is getting cell phone updates from Gen. these past few weeks i have been producing a little bit less milk when i pump everyday as well. so on top of cell phone pics, i have been getting videos of the hungry baby cry. it's heartbreaking but does the trick. i looooooove my Harlow cell phone pics. these are a few of my favs from this past week.
in trying to lure Harlow into rolling over, Gen tries placing the bottle to her side. it's not as mean as it looks. i promise!
she loathes "tummy time." in order to get out of it, she often just face plants into things until we pick her up.
looking as cute as a button on her way to the county fair.
this one makes me beg to know who stole my infant and replaced her with such a grown up babe?
the only thing i love more than my daily cell updates is picture of Harlow nursing. it is truly the most amazing bond. and while some days it is frustrating to never be able to put her down - there are other days that are just magical. she is such a big girl now. last week when we were at the farm picking up our share, she ate while i picked tomatos! amazing. with the umbrella, i am reminded of a very different picture of me that was taken by Bunty in Michigan over four years ago involving a red umbrella and some fabulous jewels. oh how times have changed.
in trying to lure Harlow into rolling over, Gen tries placing the bottle to her side. it's not as mean as it looks. i promise!
she loathes "tummy time." in order to get out of it, she often just face plants into things until we pick her up.
looking as cute as a button on her way to the county fair.
this one makes me beg to know who stole my infant and replaced her with such a grown up babe?
the only thing i love more than my daily cell updates is picture of Harlow nursing. it is truly the most amazing bond. and while some days it is frustrating to never be able to put her down - there are other days that are just magical. she is such a big girl now. last week when we were at the farm picking up our share, she ate while i picked tomatos! amazing. with the umbrella, i am reminded of a very different picture of me that was taken by Bunty in Michigan over four years ago involving a red umbrella and some fabulous jewels. oh how times have changed.
the great roll over
as you know, Harlow had zero desire to roll over. none. zip. then this weekend she started rolling to her side in order to play with her feet more. then, last night, in front of me/Papa/Ben/Cielo - she rolled over and back again...twice! now she is on a roll (get it?). it's like she always knew how to roll. maybe she did and was just messing with us.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
oh, this 4th month
yes, i know, i have bragged and bragged and bragged about my amazing baby. i told you about how she sleeps through the night and how she has slept through the night since day one. i have talked about her calm personality and her ability to be thoughtful (like Pa) even as a newborn. i have told you time and time again about how she never really cries all that much. at all. now i am starting to think that i should have kept my mouth shut!
months 1-4 were amazing. they brought true all of the things that i write about above. tons of sleep, very little crying, and calmness all around. month 4 has been a tricky one. it started out with a bang on our trip to Michigan for 30/40/30. Harlow was amazing on the flight. true to form, she slept almost the entire way and then smiled through the landing. she barely even made a peep and charmed all of those around her. the first few days in Chicago she was great as well just as she was the first few days in Michigan. then all seemed to take a turn at the end of the Michigan stay. she was fussy, screaming all the time, starving, and clearly in pain when trying to eat. i chocked it up to teething but i think there may have been a yeast issue in there somewhere as well. regardless, it seems to have been a rough spell since that trip. while still a generally calm baby that takes things in thoughtfully (again, just like Papa) she has been much more fussy this fourth month. and much more demanding of what she wants. she is also going through a change in her sleeping habits. while she used to go to bed around 11pm and sleep right through until the next morning...she is now demanding to go to bed earlier each night and then waking up fitfully at all sorts of wee hours of the morning. sometimes she wakes up and i can feed her back to sleep. but, more increasingly, she wakes up and then just wants to lay between us and "talk" for a few hours. super cute but super tiring. also, i must say that we have swaddled since birth and i have feared the end of the swaddle since that time as well. i swear by it and know in the depths of my heart that that is why she has slept so soundly all of those months. now, she suddenly wants no part in it. girl wants to move and flail. we have decided that starting today there will be no more swaddle. yikes. yikes. and yikes. but we do have to make that transition. better now than later. and since she is asking for it, i suppose that means she is ready. i am also wondering if her swaddling as inhibited her development in learning to roll over. she still has no interest in rolling but is doing great sitting by herself and standing if you give her something to hold.
these last few days before she turns 5mo have me praying that we revert back to those easy baby days/ways.
on the flip - she is ever adorable and learns more every single day. we started doing the sign for "milk" just a few days ago with her and she already understands it. she will be crying but if you do the "milk" sign in front of her face she will cease crying, smile, and look at the bottle/breast. it's pretty amazing to see.
as per usual, i am still completely smitten. in fact, i get mkore so each and every day. who knew you could love something so much?
and...i have just been informed that there is a thing called the "four month wakeful." who knew??? clearly not me. a light bulb just totally went off.
months 1-4 were amazing. they brought true all of the things that i write about above. tons of sleep, very little crying, and calmness all around. month 4 has been a tricky one. it started out with a bang on our trip to Michigan for 30/40/30. Harlow was amazing on the flight. true to form, she slept almost the entire way and then smiled through the landing. she barely even made a peep and charmed all of those around her. the first few days in Chicago she was great as well just as she was the first few days in Michigan. then all seemed to take a turn at the end of the Michigan stay. she was fussy, screaming all the time, starving, and clearly in pain when trying to eat. i chocked it up to teething but i think there may have been a yeast issue in there somewhere as well. regardless, it seems to have been a rough spell since that trip. while still a generally calm baby that takes things in thoughtfully (again, just like Papa) she has been much more fussy this fourth month. and much more demanding of what she wants. she is also going through a change in her sleeping habits. while she used to go to bed around 11pm and sleep right through until the next morning...she is now demanding to go to bed earlier each night and then waking up fitfully at all sorts of wee hours of the morning. sometimes she wakes up and i can feed her back to sleep. but, more increasingly, she wakes up and then just wants to lay between us and "talk" for a few hours. super cute but super tiring. also, i must say that we have swaddled since birth and i have feared the end of the swaddle since that time as well. i swear by it and know in the depths of my heart that that is why she has slept so soundly all of those months. now, she suddenly wants no part in it. girl wants to move and flail. we have decided that starting today there will be no more swaddle. yikes. yikes. and yikes. but we do have to make that transition. better now than later. and since she is asking for it, i suppose that means she is ready. i am also wondering if her swaddling as inhibited her development in learning to roll over. she still has no interest in rolling but is doing great sitting by herself and standing if you give her something to hold.
these last few days before she turns 5mo have me praying that we revert back to those easy baby days/ways.
on the flip - she is ever adorable and learns more every single day. we started doing the sign for "milk" just a few days ago with her and she already understands it. she will be crying but if you do the "milk" sign in front of her face she will cease crying, smile, and look at the bottle/breast. it's pretty amazing to see.
as per usual, i am still completely smitten. in fact, i get mkore so each and every day. who knew you could love something so much?
and...i have just been informed that there is a thing called the "four month wakeful." who knew??? clearly not me. a light bulb just totally went off.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
the adoption!
completely forgot to write about the adoption. it was on 08-11-10. we didn't invite anyone because we didn't really see it as a big deal. Gwen was clearly the parent since conception. making it legal just seemed like a formality. my mom even said that it hadn't occurred to her because Gwen was clearly already the parent. but when we showed up at the Northampton courthouse on 08-11-10, i suddenly had the feeling that i wished we had brought a witness. or six. the funny thing is that another lesbian couple from my birth group was also doing their adoption that very same morning. what a coincidense. the "trial" was very sweet. the judge was this sweet little woman that loved Harlow. she had Harlow picked a pen out of a stack and then she signed the adoption papers with that pen and gave us the pen to keep. the best part was that the big and beefy security gaurd grabbed our camera and took pictures of the entire event. it was really sweet. after the official "trial" for the adoption, we went into the court office where all of the office workers gushed over Harlow and smiled warmly at us. they made us a little plaque with a Poleroid of the adoption in. it was really a very sweet experience. it made me wish that we had invited our family, our chosen family, and all that made it possible to have Harlow.
so, in leiu of you all being there - i just want to say thank you. we all know that Gwen was the parent long before conception but Harlow is officially and legally hers now. thank you to all of you that supported us, help us, shipped things in the mail, and stood by us. we love you all.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
who am i?
lately i have been thinking a lot about who i've become. over seven years ago when Gen and i got together i told her that i never wanted to do "couple things" with her. i was a performer, Gen was a producer, we were people that stayed up all night in the city. now here we are owning a 220+ year old farm house in Western MA with our hybrid car and our hybrid baby. we talk about farm shares, homemade baby food, natural household cleaners, and cloth diapers excite us. to top it all off - we just hired a PT nanny and are very seriously considering a mini van. do we need a minivan with only one kid? not so much. but wouldn't it be amazing to stowe-n-go all the seats to cart the dogs around while still having a seat for the baby? and wouldn't it be cool to cart all our friends around? and wouldn't it be cool to...you get the picture. it's shocking to suddenly find yourself at 32 years old with a 4mo old baby and a crazy house to try to manage. when did this all happen and will we ever be able to take off for a weekend again? it's wild to see things change so fast. and, lord knows, all of this is going to go by in the blink of an eye. in fact, i can't believe that Gen and i have been together for well over seven years now. that seems like an eternity. and now we're tied to this kid for life. wild wild wild. and when do i stop being forever exhausted???
i know that life will all slow down sooner or later. until then i am trying to take in the few peaceful moments that i/we have. i am trying to get back into yoga. i am trying to relax and not speed through life. i am trying (and struggling) with not always having to have something to do. i'm wanting to get my hands dirty in a garden, take walks, and sit by the water. it's a constant struggle but so worth it in the long run. currently i am most easily finding peaceful moments nursing the little monkey. here we are last week in Michigan in a house right on the lake...
...my new favorite picture. hopefully it will remind me to slow down. on the flip side - i am liking growing older. i like my wrinkles, i like my gray hair, i like what age can do.
i know that life will all slow down sooner or later. until then i am trying to take in the few peaceful moments that i/we have. i am trying to get back into yoga. i am trying to relax and not speed through life. i am trying (and struggling) with not always having to have something to do. i'm wanting to get my hands dirty in a garden, take walks, and sit by the water. it's a constant struggle but so worth it in the long run. currently i am most easily finding peaceful moments nursing the little monkey. here we are last week in Michigan in a house right on the lake...
...my new favorite picture. hopefully it will remind me to slow down. on the flip side - i am liking growing older. i like my wrinkles, i like my gray hair, i like what age can do.
Friday, August 13, 2010
oh how times moves on...
things are progressing so rapidly. out little monkey is more than four months old now. it's wild how fast that happened. it's even more wild how much she has changed. she started as a little blob that just ate and cried. now she holds herself up, lifts her head to the point where i can see she has a neck (!!!), laughs, talks back, holds her own bottle, and practically changes her own diaper. okay, well that was a fib. but you get the drift.
on Wednesday night she sat up by herself for the first time. SHOCKING since she has shown zero interest in rolling over at all. seriously, i have seen other babies her age rolling in ciricles. she just lays there happy as a clam (a rectangle shaped clam). but she sat up by herself on Wednesday - and for a good amount of time to boot. then today i get a cell phone pic from Gen where she is standing and holding onto her bookshelf (see below). i am shocked and awed. maybe she will just go right to walking and skip that menacing rolling stage. maybe she will go her entire life without ever having an inkling to roll. who knows. what i do know is that this baby is a giant 16.5lb monster at 4mo and i love love love every roll of her!
on Wednesday night she sat up by herself for the first time. SHOCKING since she has shown zero interest in rolling over at all. seriously, i have seen other babies her age rolling in ciricles. she just lays there happy as a clam (a rectangle shaped clam). but she sat up by herself on Wednesday - and for a good amount of time to boot. then today i get a cell phone pic from Gen where she is standing and holding onto her bookshelf (see below). i am shocked and awed. maybe she will just go right to walking and skip that menacing rolling stage. maybe she will go her entire life without ever having an inkling to roll. who knows. what i do know is that this baby is a giant 16.5lb monster at 4mo and i love love love every roll of her!
Saturday, August 7, 2010
birth class reunion!
we had our birth class reunion today. i wasn't really looking forward to it since Gen had to be in Boston shooting. but i am super glad that i went. it was great to see people. soooooo amazing to see people without bellies but with babies. it was actually pretty cool. and they were all so damn cute (proof below). our teacher had us all introduce the babes and then tell our birth stories. in my head i was not too excited as i have successfully avoided it for month now. and i am used to just crying when i tell it. but most of the stories were so beautiful. from instant birth (just a few hours) to a community of family at the birth to water birth...the stories were so great. i kept tearing up because they were so beautiful but also because i knew i was going to have to tell mine.
Sarah C was there with Tinian and handsome little Weston. i've known for four months now that she also had a hard birth. in fact, she had 68hrs next to my 65hrs. but in all truth, i had never heard her story. she was one of the first to tell. i felt so much strength in her story and was awed at how powerful she must have been to get through it. i really just kept feeling that she was so strong and i was happy for their amazing family. then i realized that perhaps i was that strong too. it gave me strength to tell an elapsed version of my birth story and not feel sorrow around it. and it felt good. because we did get through it and it was amazing and powerful.
one of the husbands in the group summed it up best, "i used to always think that humans were powerful. after watching my wife give birth i know that it is only women that are powerful." ha!
the babes...
Weston and Olive clearly fell in love. or...Weston fell in love with Olive's shirt.
Sarah C was there with Tinian and handsome little Weston. i've known for four months now that she also had a hard birth. in fact, she had 68hrs next to my 65hrs. but in all truth, i had never heard her story. she was one of the first to tell. i felt so much strength in her story and was awed at how powerful she must have been to get through it. i really just kept feeling that she was so strong and i was happy for their amazing family. then i realized that perhaps i was that strong too. it gave me strength to tell an elapsed version of my birth story and not feel sorrow around it. and it felt good. because we did get through it and it was amazing and powerful.
one of the husbands in the group summed it up best, "i used to always think that humans were powerful. after watching my wife give birth i know that it is only women that are powerful." ha!
the babes...
Weston and Olive clearly fell in love. or...Weston fell in love with Olive's shirt.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
i hate being at work!!!
i hate being at work. all the fun stuff happens while i am busy bringing home the bacon. Harlow laughed for the first time today. luckily, Gen is awesome and she caught it on tape. be still my heart.
and then i just got this video of her first time feeding herself. so many firsts in just one day!!!
and then i just got this video of her first time feeding herself. so many firsts in just one day!!!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
all grown up
just these last few days, Harlow has made some great strides yet again. she has been watching us eat with a very curious interest. i have no desire to cut back the nursing anytime soon but it's interesting to see her fascinated in "big kid" food. also, she totally ripped the bottle out of Gen's hands this morning and held it herself. she could barely even eat from a bottle a few weeks ago.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
quick update
i promised myself that i would update this blog every week. sadly, i am not. when i was on leave i was too busy being with the babe to update. now that i am back at work i am too busy working to update. urgh. i promise to set a tijme in the future to update every week. for now, i shall post a few pics. it's great to have Papa at home sending me pictures all day.
Friday, July 16, 2010
all dressed up!
we went to Dan & Crystal's wedding this past weekend. it was beautiful. sadly, they lost power at the very beginning of the wedding. food was hard getting out, no ac, no lights. but it was just perfect. a family member sang their song for them to dance to and i don't think there was a dry eye in the house. so happy for them both.
and on that note, it gives me an excuse to post pictures of Harlow all dressed to kill...
and on that note, it gives me an excuse to post pictures of Harlow all dressed to kill...
Sunday, July 11, 2010
catching up...
i haven't been updating much as of late. i really wanted to spend those last few weeks with the little one...with her. but i am back online now. so expect more love and photos to come.
first and foremost - her birth announcement! the idea came from BendelaCreme. he saw another birth announcement that said "Hello World" that spawned the idea. for those of you that haven't seen it...it's brills! thanks, Ben!!!
i haven't posted many clothes lately. if you're anything like me, the clothes are half the fun. got this lovely bikini from Samber. people tell me that it freaks them out but i think it is FAB! she will be wearing this summer on our MI vacation for sure. they also sent her this amazing kangaroo outfit. it's made out of soft sweater material and is oh-so-sweet. she doesn't fit into it yet but we're getting there fast!
i am sad to be back to work and missing our baby & me yoga classes. it was really nice to find time to excercise without having to leave the little one at home. she was getting really good at her yoga poses too. sadly, the class is only offered during the day (damn stay at home parents have all the luck!). however, i did get permission to "baby wear" her during the dance class that i used to take when i was pregs. so tomorrow we will start dance class again. yay! here Harlow is passed out at her last yoga class.
first and foremost - her birth announcement! the idea came from BendelaCreme. he saw another birth announcement that said "Hello World" that spawned the idea. for those of you that haven't seen it...it's brills! thanks, Ben!!!
i haven't posted many clothes lately. if you're anything like me, the clothes are half the fun. got this lovely bikini from Samber. people tell me that it freaks them out but i think it is FAB! she will be wearing this summer on our MI vacation for sure. they also sent her this amazing kangaroo outfit. it's made out of soft sweater material and is oh-so-sweet. she doesn't fit into it yet but we're getting there fast!
i am sad to be back to work and missing our baby & me yoga classes. it was really nice to find time to excercise without having to leave the little one at home. she was getting really good at her yoga poses too. sadly, the class is only offered during the day (damn stay at home parents have all the luck!). however, i did get permission to "baby wear" her during the dance class that i used to take when i was pregs. so tomorrow we will start dance class again. yay! here Harlow is passed out at her last yoga class.
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