solids

we had wanted to wait to introduce solids until the babe was well into 7/8/9 months. not sure why, but Gen and i both agreed on that number without even really thinking about it beyond the fact that breastmilk is so good for the little monkey. however, Hlow has been waking all night every night to eat. she is currently waking a solid 6 times each night. it's killing us. i am not functioning at all at work right now. my sister commented that perhaps Hlow was ready to eat. i heard her say it but i forgot about it because i wanted to keep up with breastmilk as her only source right now. then i met two friends for brunch yesterday and they both mentioned that it sounded like Hlow was ready for food too. ho hum. i am not ready to feed her yet but if it means sleeping through the night again, i am all for it. so...joila...we are going to start her on her first solid food tomorrow - the illusive avocado!

in a way, i am super excited because i can't wait to see how she reacts. i think it is going to be a really fun transition. i also look forward to the days of pumping less at work. but i am also really sad about losing the grasp of her needing me for every meal. i can't believe that my little baby is almost six month old now. she is long past being a newborn and it is really sad to me. i miss the days when she needed me 24/7. while i love seeing her grow and become independant, it's reall yhard to know that it won't be long before she doesn't want breastmilk at all. she is so active now. nursing her is the only time during the day when it is just her and i...quiet...and giving each other all our love/attention.

so i sit here on the eve of feeding this kid an avocado. apprehensive yet excited. at this rate, i'll be buying her a big kid bed next week and sending her off to college next month.

urgh, too much love.

Harlow's rose

Harlow's rose bloomed this week. i planted this rose last year. it first bloomed the day that i found out i was pregnant with the babe. it bloomed a bit late this year, but it is twice the size and twice as beautiful as it was last year at this time. just like the little monkey.

working mamas unite

i...have...had...it!

i went back to work on July 5th after three amazing months home with my daughter. being with her full time was a struggle as i was healing and learning how to parent but it was also amazing in terms of the quality time we got to spend together and the love we gave each other 24hrs a day. being home with her was also amazing because the area in which we live in is so supportive of new parents and so helpful to needs that come up. i took baby & me yoga classes...i went to weekly support groups for new mamas/parents...i went to weekly breastfeeding support groups...and most importantly, i had other mama friends that i could lunch with and just talk to about what was going on in our new lives as parents.

going back to work was one of the most difficult things that i had to do. going back to work meant leaving my daughter every morning. luckily, i have a partner that stays home. i count my blessings every day for that. but i still have to leave my daughter every morning when i truly feel that we honestly still need to be together at this age. going back to work also meant pumping in a hot/stifling closet 3-4 times a day and my stress levels going way way way off the charts. but the thing that has really killed me about going back to work is virtually losing all support and resources that i had as a stay-at-home mama. the area in which i live in is very privileged and has a lot of stay-at-home mamas. this is a beautiful thing. and it's a beautiful thing that the area supports these new mamas and parents so completely. but there is a complete lack of support and resources for mamas that work a 9-5 job. i have contacted the local YMCA, local gyms, and local baby places/spaces. not a single one offers an exercise class for new parents and their babes on the evening or the weekends. on top of that, i lost all support in terms of new parent groups, breastfeeding groups, and personal support. there are certainly weekend classes for new fathers. but it is presumed that new mamas won't be working.

i recently had a really horrible time pumping enough milk to feed the babe during the workday. luckily, after much Googling, i found a local Le Leche advocate that was able to assist me via email during the day. that was amazing. and i thank that person and LLL for that to no end. but i still take very serious issue that working mamas fall off the map. going back to work is very difficult for us new mamas. what is more difficult is having zero support once we do transition into leaving our babes every day at a way too early age.

okay okay. i should stop complaining and create something myself, right? maybe i'll do just that. in fact, i am working on creating an evening dance class for babes and new parents as i type this. but i need to get my frustrations out, hence this blog.

hmpf. thanks for letting me type this rant.

on a side note, Harlow is doing just lovely.

zzzzzzzzzz

i don't even remember what sleep felt like.

oh man

Gwen just sent me this picture this morning. it's a picture of the video monitor that we have to watch the cutie in her sleeper at night and while taking naps. we looooove the video monitor. it's super fun. and it is really easy for us lazy folks to just look at the monitor when there is a strange sound rather than running upstairs. also super excited for when she is older and we can watch her talk to herself like Anna used to do. anyhow, Gwen sent this to me this morning. starting today it looks like she would prefer to roll around rather than sleep. man o man - we really have to nix that swaddler at night. yes, we still swaddle her at 5mo old. looks like another few weeks of no sleep while we make that transition. good times.

love, love, and love

just a quick note as i am slammed at work, as usual.

i got the above picture as my daily cell phone update from Gen today. i am so smitten that i can't even control myself at work half the time. last week when i came home from work she reached for me for the first time. it melted my heart to walk in and see those two little chubby arms reaching out to me. yesterday, we were walking around in the yard looking at leaves and listening to the wind chimes. she put each little hand on either side of my face and rubbed her cute little cheeks and lips all over my face. i could have just died. smitten and in love. uncontrollably.