who am i?

lately i have been thinking a lot about who i've become. over seven years ago when Gen and i got together i told her that i never wanted to do "couple things" with her. i was a performer, Gen was a producer, we were people that stayed up all night in the city. now here we are owning a 220+ year old farm house in Western MA with our hybrid car and our hybrid baby. we talk about farm shares, homemade baby food, natural household cleaners, and cloth diapers excite us. to top it all off - we just hired a PT nanny and are very seriously considering a mini van. do we need a minivan with only one kid? not so much. but wouldn't it be amazing to stowe-n-go all the seats to cart the dogs around while still having a seat for the baby? and wouldn't it be cool to cart all our friends around? and wouldn't it be cool to...you get the picture. it's shocking to suddenly find yourself at 32 years old with a 4mo old baby and a crazy house to try to manage. when did this all happen and will we ever be able to take off for a weekend again? it's wild to see things change so fast. and, lord knows, all of this is going to go by in the blink of an eye. in fact, i can't believe that Gen and i have been together for well over seven years now. that seems like an eternity. and now we're tied to this kid for life. wild wild wild. and when do i stop being forever exhausted???

i know that life will all slow down sooner or later. until then i am trying to take in the few peaceful moments that i/we have. i am trying to get back into yoga. i am trying to relax and not speed through life. i am trying (and struggling) with not always having to have something to do. i'm wanting to get my hands dirty in a garden, take walks, and sit by the water. it's a constant struggle but so worth it in the long run. currently i am most easily finding peaceful moments nursing the little monkey. here we are last week in Michigan in a house right on the lake...



...my new favorite picture. hopefully it will remind me to slow down. on the flip side - i am liking growing older. i like my wrinkles, i like my gray hair, i like what age can do.