sleep / crying it out / co-sleeping

as most of you know, we are not sleeping. Harlow wakes up a solid six times a night for about 20 minutes each time. it is making us hallucinate and grow more & more tragic by the day. we started a form of sleep training last night. so we will be on a schedule for the next 28 days. mostly, we are following the "No Cry Sleep Solution." it is basically a gentle way of getting babe on a stricter schedule, to bed early, and sleeping through the night. it uses words/signs/queues/ and a comfort object to aid in getting the little one to sleep better. we are well read, prepared, and ready for this 28 day journey.

everyone and their mom keeps pushing the "Cry It Out" method to us. my gut just tells me that that is not the way for us. disclaimer; i am not making a judgement of you as a parent if that method worked for you/them. it is just not the choice that i/we feel comfortable making right now. at this stage in Harlow's development, i do not believe she has the ability to understand that when we leave her we are just in the next room. so, in my opinion, she is crying because she feels abandoned and is unable to understand that we will indeed be coming back for her. the thought of her alone in a room crying and wanting one of us just about makes me want to die. am i saying that i will always feel this way? no. but at this point in her age and development, these are my thoughts. so what does that mean for us? i think creating a schedule is going to be the starting point. i kind of saw myself as an easy breezy mama before this. and my plan was putting her down when she asked to be put down. i am now seeing that that has some fault. she needs to be put down before she asks to be put down. so we are creating a schedule of getting her to bed early. and we are using key words/signals/ect to create a sleep environment that overtakes her. fingers crossed.

all that being said - i have a new found respect for people that co-sleep and have family beds. i had always thought of myself as someone who would never co-sleep and actually found the idea of it a bit odd. i no longer feel that way. i vividly respect parent's/families that chose to co-sleep if that is what is right for them. i am still torn as to how i/we identity in this manner. will we be co-sleepers? will she sleep in a bed in our room? will we put her in the nursery? i don't know. i know for the winter she will remain in our room due to the fact that we have such an old farm house with wacky heat. in the spring, i am thinking it will be the perfect time to introduce her to her nursery/crib. but we'll see. if there is one thing that i have learned about being a mama is that you have no idea who you will be until you are in the midst of going through it. there is no right/wrong answer. it is all about what is right for you and your little one. no judgements. do what you need to do to not only survive the moment but to love/support/nurture your amazing baby.

i leave you with this cute little picture. Harlow chose the Ugly Doll that Alex bought her as her comfort object. she loves to rub her face all over the felt body. too cute.